We enjoyed the movie Fireproof very much! Hubby did seem to get it and so did I! Was a brilliant and entertaining way to get a very important message across! We laughed and I cried a little too, all good.
Hubby managed to refrain from alcohol all day yesterday 'til after we took care of business last night. He said he loves me so much without me saying it first! After, you know, when we were saying how great each other was and all I said "we could do this even more then once a week you know". He half jokingly said, "yeah, after we get to know each other a little better". I laughed and said "right".
I like to have the TV on while I work and on The View this morning in "Hot Topics" they were talking about relationships and said some people think you need to have kids to have a good, long term relationship (something to that effect) and Joy said psychologists have said "a relationship needs a third leg", I thought, yeah, God. I also caught myself smiling a few times today, what a nice change! I have a feeling hubby, who's just a grumpy boss to a some people at work wasn't so bad today. :-)
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Life Changes
Hubby and I had a long talk before he started drinking this morning and I told him everything, I do mean everything. (edit) I forgot to tell him about the Craigslist thing. I think that's OK though since nothing happened. He hasn't started drinking yet today where normally by now he would've had a couple. We agreed neither of us want a divorce, though I had every right to ask for one. Three legitimate reasons for divorce are abandonment, addiction, and abuse. Negligence is a form of abuse and he's always so drunk even when he's here he isn't really. I told him if the roles were reversed and he thought he needed something to make him happy that I wasn't willing to do, for example whips, chains, and bondage, I would be OK with him going out and getting that and coming home to me. He said he doesn't want me to have an affair and he'll curb his drinking. I did explain the affair would be physical only, that I don't want a relationship with anyone else. I even told him I love him very much but don't know if I'm romantically in love with him anymore. We're just friends and roomates. What separates married people from other relationships is sex. I told him we don't have a marriage right now, all we have is a piece of paper. I don't know what I did wrong. He told me I haven't done anything wrong.
After a very long pause I asked what he was thinking. He said "I'm figuring out ways to spend more time with you, I can do that". Great! Oh good, I said "you're off two days a week if I could just have some time on one, even just one day a month it'd give me something to look forward to. How about if we have a standing date once a month, say the 5th of each month we'll be sober and have sex no matter what?" With our schedules that's not really possible but we could come close. He said "how 'bout once a week"! YES! "Really?" "Yes." "Yes!"
He told me to thank "the Angel" for him. I told him if it wasn't for her my affair would've started last weekend and she "held my hand" through all this. It's amazing how someone can change the course of events and change the lives of people they'd never met. I am amazed in so many ways by this whole thing! I'm so excited and drained, but mostly excited, thankful, grateful, and hopeful! We're going to watch Fireproof tonight.
I hope "the Angel" is an example for us all, I know I want to reach out and help someone now more then ever.
After a very long pause I asked what he was thinking. He said "I'm figuring out ways to spend more time with you, I can do that". Great! Oh good, I said "you're off two days a week if I could just have some time on one, even just one day a month it'd give me something to look forward to. How about if we have a standing date once a month, say the 5th of each month we'll be sober and have sex no matter what?" With our schedules that's not really possible but we could come close. He said "how 'bout once a week"! YES! "Really?" "Yes." "Yes!"
He told me to thank "the Angel" for him. I told him if it wasn't for her my affair would've started last weekend and she "held my hand" through all this. It's amazing how someone can change the course of events and change the lives of people they'd never met. I am amazed in so many ways by this whole thing! I'm so excited and drained, but mostly excited, thankful, grateful, and hopeful! We're going to watch Fireproof tonight.
I hope "the Angel" is an example for us all, I know I want to reach out and help someone now more then ever.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The Day After
For the past couple of days I've been thinking about what it would've been like if the Angel hadn't come along and pulled me up. It would have been the day after when the guilt sank in and I felt tall as an inch.
I heard a Clint Black song I love so much on the radio and thought "it wouldn't be the same".
I read one lady's question - should she tell her hubby about her affair, she's trying to be a good wife and made a mistake, and read the answers that were insensitive and not helpful.
I believe our job as Christians is to help others, not beat them down when they're already hurting.
I heard a Clint Black song I love so much on the radio and thought "it wouldn't be the same".
I read one lady's question - should she tell her hubby about her affair, she's trying to be a good wife and made a mistake, and read the answers that were insensitive and not helpful.
I believe our job as Christians is to help others, not beat them down when they're already hurting.
Monday, August 17, 2009
I Thought it Was Adultery
This has been on my mind since I've heard it mentioned a couple of times including in the video on MarriageToday "The Secret to Great Sex" - that thinking about adultery IS adultery. So I looked up several versions of the Ten Commandments, all really the same but some have more information then others. None of them say that, not even close. Adultery has only one definition, voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse. Period.
Man, if thinking about sins were actually sins we'd all be in big trouble!
Better get going, I have a date with Dennis Leary's photo. :-D Oh I'm kidding but he's cute, cute, cute to me!
Man, if thinking about sins were actually sins we'd all be in big trouble!
Better get going, I have a date with Dennis Leary's photo. :-D Oh I'm kidding but he's cute, cute, cute to me!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Slowing Down
This week and weekend didn't exactly go as planned and I'm happy about that. I am absolutely exhausted. I'm going to try to forget about all this just for a few days, concentrate on work and try to recharge. Then figure out what I need to change about myself and watch Fireproof with hubby. I want to see Infidelity too but think I want to wait a little while on that one. The Angel has gotten me to slow down so right now I'm not in any danger of jumping off the ledge, so to speak.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Taking Responsibility
I've said one person can't save a marriage. Can only one person wreck it? Yes but in our case no. Have I chosen to focus on hubby's faults for an excuse to go out and have some fun? Maybe. I am a little spoiled and selfish. What's my part in him not wanting to have sex with me? Reallly don't know, I think I stopped trying a long time ago. Marriage isn't about giving up but I did. Am I smart enough to figure this out on my own? Oh hell no. I had help from a patient, understanding, nonjudgmental angel. I don't want to say who because I don't want her to be hit up for free counseling but wanted to mention her because you, reading this now, might be able to help someone else. I hope this has helped you. How'd she do it? She got me to think a little from a different angle, I know that's vague. She gave me good information, asked questions (not the exact ones above), shared her experiences, was never condescending, patronizing, or overbearing, and didn't give up.
In your life if you're trying to help someone I think there is a time to give up and you'll know it when you see it, you can only help those who are willing to help themselves.
In your life if you're trying to help someone I think there is a time to give up and you'll know it when you see it, you can only help those who are willing to help themselves.
Great Video
I highly recommend watching this video if you're married or in a serious relationship. I'll show it to hubby too. It is almost 29 minutes long and has some commercials but it is worth it! MarriageToday: The Secret to Great Sex http://www.marriagetoday.org/site/News2?abbr=mtrl_&page=NewsArticle&id=6437&security=1882&news_iv_ctrl=2595
Friday, August 14, 2009
I Know What Our Problem Is
It's alcoholism. We're both alcoholics, he's the every day drinker and I'm the binge drinker. Neither of us want to quit either, we love it. We're screwed and not in a good way. :-(
Some Answers
I'm excited about input, advice, and questions I've gotten from my new online friend. I've been reading and listening to people's opinions on the topic of cheating so I'll address them here.
Hubby says his sex drive plummeted after his vasectomy. Medically there's no known reason for this and doctors say if that happens it's a mental issue, not physical. I know alcohol lowers sex drive, it does for me too.
He has said he cares about my needs (trust me on this one though he didn't say it, actions speak louder then words) but not enough to do anything about it. I think he's happy with the way things are.
How about using a vibrator? That's not anything like human contact and doesn't alleviate the longing for sex for me. Sure it's better then nothing, barely.
I know I will not always get my way in marriage but I don't think wanting sex more then three times a year is too much to expect. I don't need it every day, once a month would be enough. Not as much as I'd like, but enough. Actually, once every other month I think would keep me from being here now. But I don't want to make him do anything he doesn't want to do either.
I think the work that marriage takes needs the foundation of good communication. Without that there's not much that can be done. One person can't save a marriage.
I will rent the movies Fireproof and Infidelity and ask hubby if he wants to watch them with me. I'll read and watch all I can on MarriageToday.com. I'm pushing my affair start date back a few days to do this and I have decided to try and talk to him again. I've also checked into the cheapest way to get a divorce - https://www.divorcewriter.com/ (will open in a new window). Of course we'd still have to live together but the sin of adultery is giving me a lot of trouble. (Update 8/15/09) I just realized with the help from a lady who's been there done that, my self respect has been lowered since I started seriously planning this whole thing.
Hubby says his sex drive plummeted after his vasectomy. Medically there's no known reason for this and doctors say if that happens it's a mental issue, not physical. I know alcohol lowers sex drive, it does for me too.
He has said he cares about my needs (trust me on this one though he didn't say it, actions speak louder then words) but not enough to do anything about it. I think he's happy with the way things are.
How about using a vibrator? That's not anything like human contact and doesn't alleviate the longing for sex for me. Sure it's better then nothing, barely.
I know I will not always get my way in marriage but I don't think wanting sex more then three times a year is too much to expect. I don't need it every day, once a month would be enough. Not as much as I'd like, but enough. Actually, once every other month I think would keep me from being here now. But I don't want to make him do anything he doesn't want to do either.
I think the work that marriage takes needs the foundation of good communication. Without that there's not much that can be done. One person can't save a marriage.
I will rent the movies Fireproof and Infidelity and ask hubby if he wants to watch them with me. I'll read and watch all I can on MarriageToday.com. I'm pushing my affair start date back a few days to do this and I have decided to try and talk to him again. I've also checked into the cheapest way to get a divorce - https://www.divorcewriter.com/ (will open in a new window). Of course we'd still have to live together but the sin of adultery is giving me a lot of trouble. (Update 8/15/09) I just realized with the help from a lady who's been there done that, my self respect has been lowered since I started seriously planning this whole thing.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Some Helpful Links
I found a post I liked a lot by lifelessons4u AKA "A" called "His Needs, Her Needs" - (link will open in a new window) http://lifelessons4u.wordpress.com/2009/08/13/his-needs-her-needs/ She said she''ll be by to read my blog, she's very nice! Welcome A! I saw your last comment there A, I know so many things can go wrong. It's like I'm about to jump out of an airplane, I packed my own 'chute when I'm certainly not trained to do so, and I'm going to jump anyway. After so much time it seems to be worth all the risks, please see "Pros and Cons of Having an Affair" at the bottom of this page.
Here is some more really good information I could relate to, an interview with Mira Kirshenbaum http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1820942,00.html?iid=sphere-inline-bottom. I'm starting to think I'm much more normal then I feel.
Some of "A"'s great advice includes a worthwhile link http://www.marriagetoday.org/ too!
Here is some more really good information I could relate to, an interview with Mira Kirshenbaum http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1820942,00.html?iid=sphere-inline-bottom. I'm starting to think I'm much more normal then I feel.
Some of "A"'s great advice includes a worthwhile link http://www.marriagetoday.org/ too!
Weeding Out the Sociopaths
Before I started this blog and Ashley Madison I looked around on Craigslist. Just browsing then found a message that seemed like it was made for me in Casual Encounters. The guy was a little older then I am and in the exact same situation, or so he said. I made a new email address and answered the ad. It is the only ad I'd ever answered for anything on any personals. We emailed a couple of times then a couple of phone calls. He was already clingy on the second phone call, saying he missed me and couldn't wait to talk to me again and blah, blah, more clingy bullshit and this was only hours after we spoke the first time. He wanted me to be his girlfriend and I'm not looking for a relationship at all so I told him we should just nip this in the bud. He begged and begged to meet and wanted to meet as soon as he had a chance which was Wednesday (now yesterday). I told him (explained) no the nicest way I could, we're looking for different things, etc. He kept begging but finally seemed to get the message and we hung up. I deleted my email account I'd set up to answer the ad. Yesterday I got a message from him on our answering machine! We only answer the phone if we're expecting a call and screen the rest of the time so I don't even know if my hubby was in here screening when the stupid son of a bitch left the message. If he was he didn't mention it which doesn't surprise me too much. So I made another temporary email account, found the original ad since I don't have dumb-ass's email address anymore and wrote him a very, very threatening email that I can and will back up if I have to.
One in about every twenty seven people is a sociopath. I hope one down means my chance of the next guy being the same is slimmer. I'll never answer another ad on Craiglist, Ashley Madison is so much better.
Ladies and Gentlemen, send back and forth a lot more emails then I did before phone conversations. Remember we know how to use technology to find you and/or where your spouse works and we know how to use a gun if you think stalking is a good idea. You might be surprised at how many of us are packing heat. Know the signs of a psycho. Profile of the Sociopath - (link will open in a new window) http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html In the 1830's this disorder was called "moral insanity". By 1900 it was changed to "psychopath", then "sociopath". More recently it has been termed "antisocial personality disorder".
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Emotional Roller Coaster
I have so many emotions running at the same time. Once in a while one will take over like excitement, then fear, anger, then I think I just can't go through with it, I'll die and go to Hell. Then I think I can't not do it, I'll just die of loneliness, finally, after God knows how many more years of this always, constant, overlying sadness.
I look at hubby and think I should tell him one more time, maybe this time he'll hear me and change, then quickly realize that's ridiculous, better chance of pigs flying.
I'm leaving my emotions here because I must go into this emotionless. Not packing these things up to take on my journey and I hope whoever I hook up with leaves theirs someplace else too. I don't want any drama and I'm damn sure not going to give any to anyone else.
Speaking of treating others like you want to be treated, I'm trying to tone up and lose five pounds. Happy about working out again. :-)
Just read this article I thought was very interesting! Link will open in a new window. http://www.ygoy.com/index.php/extra-marital-affair-good-bad-or-ugly/
I really have wondered if my affair(s) could make our marriage better. If I can do it without feeling guilty and can simply be happier and fulfilled that'd probably make hubby happier too. That's what I want.
Tonight we made dinner (we have dinner together twice a week), lit the candles on the table and listened to our wedding CDs. It brought back great memories but surprisingly didn't make me mushy and sentimental. I was thinking I should be having second thoughts about all this affair stuff by now, ok, where are they? Second thoughts? Hello, where are you? Marco! ... Marco! ... Instead I felt like a was wearing a suit of armor. I still don't think this marriage is over though.
I look at hubby and think I should tell him one more time, maybe this time he'll hear me and change, then quickly realize that's ridiculous, better chance of pigs flying.
I'm leaving my emotions here because I must go into this emotionless. Not packing these things up to take on my journey and I hope whoever I hook up with leaves theirs someplace else too. I don't want any drama and I'm damn sure not going to give any to anyone else.
Speaking of treating others like you want to be treated, I'm trying to tone up and lose five pounds. Happy about working out again. :-)
Just read this article I thought was very interesting! Link will open in a new window. http://www.ygoy.com/index.php/extra-marital-affair-good-bad-or-ugly/
I really have wondered if my affair(s) could make our marriage better. If I can do it without feeling guilty and can simply be happier and fulfilled that'd probably make hubby happier too. That's what I want.
Tonight we made dinner (we have dinner together twice a week), lit the candles on the table and listened to our wedding CDs. It brought back great memories but surprisingly didn't make me mushy and sentimental. I was thinking I should be having second thoughts about all this affair stuff by now, ok, where are they? Second thoughts? Hello, where are you? Marco! ... Marco! ... Instead I felt like a was wearing a suit of armor. I still don't think this marriage is over though.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Advice for men on Ashley Madison
Hey sexy guys!
The search is on and I'm checkin' out your profiles on ashleymadison.com. I've noticed a couple of very common things that might be keeping you from getting as many hits as you should be.
The search is on and I'm checkin' out your profiles on ashleymadison.com. I've noticed a couple of very common things that might be keeping you from getting as many hits as you should be.
- Facial hair. Sure some women like it but most don't. Facial hair also has its own checkbox on the ladies side in "My Perfect Match" so if you don't see that in a gal's profile she's not into it. Some women, like me, couldn't have an affair with someone with facial hair because I'm light skinned and you'd leave brush marks. As far as being a turn on think of it like this - some men like women who don't shave their armpits but they're few and far between. Now think of having that hair being really rough and rubbed up against your face, neck, and places.
Do you have facial hair to cover a scar? We like scars! We like dimples and laugh lines too! Facial hair makes you look older and a little out of style, a bit stuck in the eighties.
Try a nice clean shave and enjoy all the compliments you get from friends and family. Retake your pics, post them online, and get ready for the influx of winks ;-) ! If you have a bit of a tan and under the mustache / beard is not tan put sunblock on your tan part and get a little sun. It'll even out quickly, no worries! - One other thing, in your profile (My Intimate Intrests and My Perfect Match) where it says "Please take a few moments and add a few words of your own" please do! A lot of you haven't. I always look at that first and if I like what you've said I look to see which checkboxes you checked. I saw one profile where the guy said something like "not sure what to put here right now, will update later", that'll work! Bravo!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
A Week Before My Affair
I'm planning to have an affair in about a week, don't know who the lucky guy is yet. I wanted to create this blog because I never, ever would've thought I'd cheat on my husband. I'm thinking it over carefully and putting thoughts here so I can look at them and hopefully 'hear' your thoughts / comments too! I might still change my mind and not go through with it.
The number one reason I'm going to do this is hubby will only have sex with me two or three times a year and then he acts like it's a chore. He ignores me so much that he walks away when I'm talking, I don't mean bitching either. For example, the other day we were watching neighborhood dogs through the dining room window, laughing at how cute they are and how the little one was guarding his yard from the big dogs fearlessly, which I was commenting on. I turned to smile at hubby and he was gone. So I looked around, then into the office where he was sitting watching TV. I went in the bathroom and quietly cried...again. This sort of thing is happening more and more. Last night he did the same thing so I asked him if he remembered a song that says "you piss me off, you fuckin' jerk, ya get on my nerves". He said yes (at least I got his attention) and I told him I was stuck on that song because he walked away and turned on the TV while I was talking to him. I think the weakest thing a person can do is try and turn the tables which is exactly what he did next, said I had stopped talking when he turned it on then I started again. No, I hadn't. It's as if he can't even hear me anymore. We like to watch and play Jeopardy and pause it if we need time to think and I'll say the "question" and he'll still be thinking and then come up with the question. I've even told him "yeah, I just said that" but he doesn't seem to hear that ether. I am audible, normal speaking decibels, and have asked him if he thinks his hearing is going. He said it isn't. I always listen to him. He comes home from work and tells me about his day which bores the ever-lovin' hell out of me but I listen anyway and comment. Then he'll turn on the TV, I'll leave the room and remember something I need to tell him so I 'll go back in and say "oh, by the way" and he'll put his head down, pause the TV (DVR) and sigh as if to say "why are you bothering me". This happens quite often. He talks when he's nit-picking, like if I drop something or he says I close the cabinet doors and his truck doors too hard, crap like that. I don't slam anything (except maybe him right now).
They say we teach our spouses how to treat us. I swear, I honestly do not have any idea where I went so terribly wrong. Maybe I'm too nice? I don't gripe or ask for much. (edit) Maybe the last two sentences of this post explain quite a bit.
He does work a lot and hard too so I know he needs alone time, that's fine with me, but it seems like he wants to be alone all the time. Bottom line is I'm completely alone all the time and have been for years. I do have a job but I work alone too, not that this would be anything I'd discuss with anyone in our small office. I've tried many times to talk to him and even told him I'm thinking seriously about having an affair more then once. He said he's not giving me permission but would understand, our marriage could survive it, and he doesn't want to know about it if I do. I think we do love each other and don't want a divorce so we talked about counseling, of course. We can't afford it. If you're thinking with something this important you find a way, trust me, we can't. We actually end up putting some groceries on the (my) credit card every month and I put my own shoulder back into place after dislocating it.
I'm very impressed with AshleyMadison.com so far. My profile is set so no one can view it right now. I did have it viewable for a day and got nice responses without a pic or what I was looking for yet. I only talked to one guy who IMd me while I was on. He seemed very nice. In my profile now I say I'm not looking for a relationship, just a little sweetness and sex (something to that effect).
I fantasize about what it'll be like to have someone look at me and smile and hold me because he wants to.
I think I'm the lowest maintenance wife on the planet. It's amazing to me that my hubby would rather me do this then pay a little attention to me. Oh yeah, guess I should mention he's a heavy drinker. I've asked him if he could just cut down some, he said no. Right now it's 3:30 in the afternoon and he's passed out on the couch which is normal on his days off. He really does work so hard though.
You might be wondering how long we've been married, five years.
If you're a wife or a husband who suspects your spouse is cheating, please don't do any of the above. It isn't worth it. I've suspected my hubby has cheated too. He says he hasn't but he doesn't have a problem lying. When we first started dating he was married to someone else (he hit on me and told me he wasn't happily married, I wouldn't have hit on a married man) and I was next to him while he lied to his wife on the phone.
Maybe I've gotten exactly what I deserve.
The number one reason I'm going to do this is hubby will only have sex with me two or three times a year and then he acts like it's a chore. He ignores me so much that he walks away when I'm talking, I don't mean bitching either. For example, the other day we were watching neighborhood dogs through the dining room window, laughing at how cute they are and how the little one was guarding his yard from the big dogs fearlessly, which I was commenting on. I turned to smile at hubby and he was gone. So I looked around, then into the office where he was sitting watching TV. I went in the bathroom and quietly cried...again. This sort of thing is happening more and more. Last night he did the same thing so I asked him if he remembered a song that says "you piss me off, you fuckin' jerk, ya get on my nerves". He said yes (at least I got his attention) and I told him I was stuck on that song because he walked away and turned on the TV while I was talking to him. I think the weakest thing a person can do is try and turn the tables which is exactly what he did next, said I had stopped talking when he turned it on then I started again. No, I hadn't. It's as if he can't even hear me anymore. We like to watch and play Jeopardy and pause it if we need time to think and I'll say the "question" and he'll still be thinking and then come up with the question. I've even told him "yeah, I just said that" but he doesn't seem to hear that ether. I am audible, normal speaking decibels, and have asked him if he thinks his hearing is going. He said it isn't. I always listen to him. He comes home from work and tells me about his day which bores the ever-lovin' hell out of me but I listen anyway and comment. Then he'll turn on the TV, I'll leave the room and remember something I need to tell him so I 'll go back in and say "oh, by the way" and he'll put his head down, pause the TV (DVR) and sigh as if to say "why are you bothering me". This happens quite often. He talks when he's nit-picking, like if I drop something or he says I close the cabinet doors and his truck doors too hard, crap like that. I don't slam anything (except maybe him right now).
They say we teach our spouses how to treat us. I swear, I honestly do not have any idea where I went so terribly wrong. Maybe I'm too nice? I don't gripe or ask for much. (edit) Maybe the last two sentences of this post explain quite a bit.
He does work a lot and hard too so I know he needs alone time, that's fine with me, but it seems like he wants to be alone all the time. Bottom line is I'm completely alone all the time and have been for years. I do have a job but I work alone too, not that this would be anything I'd discuss with anyone in our small office. I've tried many times to talk to him and even told him I'm thinking seriously about having an affair more then once. He said he's not giving me permission but would understand, our marriage could survive it, and he doesn't want to know about it if I do. I think we do love each other and don't want a divorce so we talked about counseling, of course. We can't afford it. If you're thinking with something this important you find a way, trust me, we can't. We actually end up putting some groceries on the (my) credit card every month and I put my own shoulder back into place after dislocating it.
I'm very impressed with AshleyMadison.com so far. My profile is set so no one can view it right now. I did have it viewable for a day and got nice responses without a pic or what I was looking for yet. I only talked to one guy who IMd me while I was on. He seemed very nice. In my profile now I say I'm not looking for a relationship, just a little sweetness and sex (something to that effect).
I fantasize about what it'll be like to have someone look at me and smile and hold me because he wants to.
I think I'm the lowest maintenance wife on the planet. It's amazing to me that my hubby would rather me do this then pay a little attention to me. Oh yeah, guess I should mention he's a heavy drinker. I've asked him if he could just cut down some, he said no. Right now it's 3:30 in the afternoon and he's passed out on the couch which is normal on his days off. He really does work so hard though.
You might be wondering how long we've been married, five years.
The Pros and Cons of Having an Affair
Pros:
- Someone might smile at me, hold me, make sweet love with me, and even ask how I'm liking it! Oh yeah, baby.
- I'd have a chance to make someone feel really great too and let him know he's super sexy!
- I could feel connected in some way to something, feel more like a normal person, and sleep a lot better. Maybe I wouldn't have to take so many sleeping pills every night.
- I'd be breaking one of the Ten Commandments, now I don't break any. The Bible does say men are supposed to treat their wives well. Could two wrongs possibly make a right?
- I could meet someone who's really pissed off that his wife cheated on him and wants to make all cheating wives pay so he beats me up, and/or holds me hostage and/or tortures me, and/or kills me.
- Could just be a sociopath and ditto the previous one.
- The condom could break and I could get an STD (maybe even give it to hubby) and/or pregnant.
- Could really hurt hubby deeply if he found out.
- His wife could tail him to our rendezvous and shoot us both. "I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead" anyway. Would not be happy about leaving their children, if they had any (we don't), without parents.
- He could rob me. I won't bring any credit cards or wear nice jewelry and anyone who'd steal my car couldn't be smart enough to turn on a computer or write messages that'd interest me.
- When I make a mistake I apologize and do whatever I can to correct it, make it right. This is premeditated, not a mistake, there's no way to undo it once it's done and no way to make it right.
If you're a wife or a husband who suspects your spouse is cheating, please don't do any of the above. It isn't worth it. I've suspected my hubby has cheated too. He says he hasn't but he doesn't have a problem lying. When we first started dating he was married to someone else (he hit on me and told me he wasn't happily married, I wouldn't have hit on a married man) and I was next to him while he lied to his wife on the phone.
Maybe I've gotten exactly what I deserve.
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